Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
