Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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