if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize