69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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