so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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