you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
