Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
