I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
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Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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