i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize