? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
This show inspires me to have sex in space
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.