I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.