im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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