Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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