end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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