I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize