Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
