Whod you bang
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
