Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize