Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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