Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah