There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"