Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️