I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Then again, he has huge mansions.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.