i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
