two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
