My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize