What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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