Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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