Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?