so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing