I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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