stop calling my apartment porn island.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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