We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!