It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.