Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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