He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
