Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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