Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize