So drunk its hurt
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
