a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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