the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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