They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
