Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence