Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.