I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?