They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug