Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
barbara walters just said penis...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
