They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
