3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize