We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You are a genius and a whore.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
