we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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