don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize