Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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