Where did you get a picture of my penis
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
