she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
These tits shall not be calmed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
