Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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