this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize