when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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