In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
